Mr. Fife Posted April 22, 2017 at 12:44 AM Share Posted April 22, 2017 at 12:44 AM How does an alchemist get his girlfriend excited? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Fife Posted April 22, 2017 at 12:44 AM Share Posted April 22, 2017 at 12:44 AM Elixer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ITguy1686 Posted April 22, 2017 at 02:50 AM Share Posted April 22, 2017 at 02:50 AM Elixer. ^^^^^ This guy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkroenlein Posted April 22, 2017 at 03:26 AM Share Posted April 22, 2017 at 03:26 AM 65.80% of Walmart employees are on welfare. Which is about 30% less than the clientele... I'll bump my previous WM prediction- Within 5 years*Handicap parking spaces will outnumber all others. *Fire lanes in front of the store will be moved to the back lot in order to accommodate sidewalk parking. *4 out of every 5 checkouts will become link only and express lanes will have a 50 item maximum. *Returns without a receipt will outnumber purchases. *WM will attempt to eliminate the appearance of profiling or minority heavy arrests by announcing that shoplifting will no longer be a crime and will be punishable only by a fine to be mailed upon completion of successful facial recognition by parking lot software. *Private entities currently leasing space from Walmart will be replaced by government grants for kiosks and in store facilities such as DCFS, Social Security, LIHEAP, legal assistance, HUD and Kidcare. A change in the current administration will also include a voter registration office which will include 10% off any in store purchase. *Walmart will win a government bid to provide school lunches to all public elementary thru high schools nationwide. Called the "Great Value" project, the salads will be a staple of the program.I'm a little scared. Most all of this is plausible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkroenlein Posted April 22, 2017 at 03:37 AM Share Posted April 22, 2017 at 03:37 AM I stopped by my local Wal Mart (in truth no Wal Marts can be called local here in the corn section of Illinois) for my quarterly visit. Just to carry my gun in there. It was an exercise in self control. They are stacking idiots 10 deep these days. I do not know what makes people think they're in their own living rooms, dressed in the same pajamas they put on 3 days ago, walking all criss cross and against the natural flow of traffic, but it's absolutely maddening. It literally makes a ten minute visit into a fourteen minute visit, and I'm over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C0untZer0 Posted April 22, 2017 at 05:27 AM Share Posted April 22, 2017 at 05:27 AM I think walking is just like driving - you stay to the right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRJ Posted April 22, 2017 at 01:03 PM Share Posted April 22, 2017 at 01:03 PM They are stacking idiots 10 deep these days. I do not know what makes people think they're in their own living rooms, dressed in the same pajamas they put on 3 days ago, walking all criss cross and against the natural flow of traffic, but it's absolutely maddening. It literally makes a ten minute visit into a fourteen minute visit, and I'm over it.And that's just the employees... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C0untZer0 Posted April 22, 2017 at 03:05 PM Share Posted April 22, 2017 at 03:05 PM Walking all criss cross with their arms all akimbo ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talonap Posted April 22, 2017 at 03:27 PM Share Posted April 22, 2017 at 03:27 PM I think walking is just like driving - you stay to the right. Unless you're a Democrat ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTX63 Posted April 23, 2017 at 09:51 AM Share Posted April 23, 2017 at 09:51 AM I was driving over the centerline the other day and my wife says "Honey, get over stay on your half of the road!"I told her I like to take my half in the middle...bah boom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C0untZer0 Posted April 23, 2017 at 05:01 PM Share Posted April 23, 2017 at 05:01 PM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChicagoRonin70 Posted May 10, 2017 at 08:10 PM Share Posted May 10, 2017 at 08:10 PM Can we conceal carry a monkey in Walmart? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talonap Posted May 10, 2017 at 08:17 PM Share Posted May 10, 2017 at 08:17 PM Can we conceal carry a monkey in Walmart? Maybe an Elephant if the, "Unlawful Use of an Elephant", Bill goes through! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChicagoRonin70 Posted May 10, 2017 at 08:19 PM Share Posted May 10, 2017 at 08:19 PM Can we conceal carry a monkey in Walmart? Maybe an Elephant if the, "Unlawful Use of an Elephant", Bill goes through! More important, would a barrel of monkeys be considered a "high capacity" primate projector? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talonap Posted May 11, 2017 at 02:24 PM Share Posted May 11, 2017 at 02:24 PM Can we conceal carry a monkey in Walmart? Maybe an Elephant if the, "Unlawful Use of an Elephant", Bill goes through! More important, would a barrel of monkeys be considered a "high capacity" primate projector? Would this be the long thingy on a rifle in, "Planet of the Apes"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odinson Posted May 11, 2017 at 03:20 PM Share Posted May 11, 2017 at 03:20 PM Worst thing about monkeys (not apes) is if they are herpes-B virus carriers - doesn't affect them, but if they scratch or bite you, you die three days later. Kind of like the Quivering Palm Death Touch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talonap Posted May 11, 2017 at 07:05 PM Share Posted May 11, 2017 at 07:05 PM Worst thing about monkeys (not apes) is if they are herpes-B virus carriers - doesn't affect them, but if they scratch or bite you, you die three days later. Kind of like the Quivering Palm Death Touch. Good thing elephants don't have that! Take a barrel of elephants instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChicagoRonin70 Posted May 11, 2017 at 11:37 PM Share Posted May 11, 2017 at 11:37 PM Worst thing about monkeys (not apes) is if they are herpes-B virus carriers - doesn't affect them, but if they scratch or bite you, you die three days later. Kind of like the Quivering Palm Death Touch. That's generally macaque monkeys; herpes simian B virus is endemic in that species and can be quite fatal in humans if it manages to take root. But, there have only been 31 cases of human transmission from primates, with 21 deaths since it was discovered in 1932. More people die in Walmart bathrooms each year than that, probably. Who knows what kind of pathogenic Petri dish of biotoxic horrors is a-brewin' in some of those places. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SX86viXrV_4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vern Posted May 12, 2017 at 06:33 PM Share Posted May 12, 2017 at 06:33 PM Good afternoon Wal Mart trollers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talonap Posted May 12, 2017 at 07:21 PM Share Posted May 12, 2017 at 07:21 PM Good afternoon Wal Mart trollers. Did you ever notice that if you put an, "S", in front of the last word of, "Wal Mart trollers", you get, "Wal Mart STROLLERS"? Groovy, huh ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
papa Posted May 13, 2017 at 04:41 AM Share Posted May 13, 2017 at 04:41 AM Good afternoon Wal Mart trollers. Hey now ! I'll have you know I represent that remark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talonap Posted May 16, 2017 at 04:02 PM Share Posted May 16, 2017 at 04:02 PM WalMart ... Just sayin' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chislinger Posted May 17, 2017 at 03:13 AM Share Posted May 17, 2017 at 03:13 AM I guess this is as good a place as any to brag: Yesterday I took down and cleaned my Ruger MkII without once referring to the manual! I know what you're thinking, that I must have made a deal with the devil to perform such alchemy but I swear I did it from memory! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkroenlein Posted May 17, 2017 at 03:24 AM Share Posted May 17, 2017 at 03:24 AM I guess this is as good a place as any to brag: Yesterday I took down and cleaned my Ruger MkII without once referring to the manual! I know what you're thinking, that I must have made a deal with the devil to perform such alchemy but I swear I did it from memory!Did you do it on a cleaning mat, using oil, swabs or brushes procured at the Wals Mart? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chislinger Posted May 17, 2017 at 03:41 AM Share Posted May 17, 2017 at 03:41 AM I guess this is as good a place as any to brag: Yesterday I took down and cleaned my Ruger MkII without once referring to the manual! I know what you're thinking, that I must have made a deal with the devil to perform such alchemy but I swear I did it from memory! Did you do it on a cleaning mat, using oil, swabs or brushes procured at the Wals Mart? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talonap Posted May 17, 2017 at 12:28 PM Share Posted May 17, 2017 at 12:28 PM I guess this is as good a place as any to brag: Yesterday I took down and cleaned my Ruger MkII without once referring to the manual! I know what you're thinking, that I must have made a deal with the devil to perform such alchemy but I swear I did it from memory!Did you do it on a cleaning mat, using oil, swabs or brushes procured at the Wals Mart? Why, of course he did. Otherwise, he wouldn't have posted it here - just forgot to mention it in all the excitement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awan Posted May 26, 2017 at 08:59 PM Share Posted May 26, 2017 at 08:59 PM Today, at Walmart, I bought 3 boxes of 325 rnd Federal .22s at Walmart! And, a box of .357 magnum - just because. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talonap Posted May 27, 2017 at 02:46 AM Share Posted May 27, 2017 at 02:46 AM Today, at Walmart, I bought 3 boxes of 325 rnd Federal .22s at Walmart! And, a box of .357 magnum - just because. Such is, "The Way of the Mart". It compels you ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talonap Posted May 29, 2017 at 07:45 PM Share Posted May 29, 2017 at 07:45 PM Had to come over here for my 3000th post! AND 6630! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTX63 Posted May 31, 2017 at 12:20 PM Share Posted May 31, 2017 at 12:20 PM I believe those famed "yellow" 22s are on my son in laws Fort Wayne, In shelves currently for $34.97. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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